| Okay, so I know that's it's been, God what, 2 years (?) since I've last blogged something here but I'm getting desparate here...Okay so in my last post I had said that I was dating that Shawn dude. Well we're still together but we're hitting a major rough patch. And I mean MAJOR. So major that I don't know what to do anymore. I'm not sure of myself when it comes to anything now... But the reason we're hitting this rough time is because I finally grew some balls and told him that I'm sick that he gets more involved with his damn video games than with our relationship. I mean, I understand if you're really ticked about something to the point where you want to kill someone if you play a really agressive game to vent. I get that. But when your GIRLFRIEND is visiting you and all you do (for the most part) is play your games, you're eventually going to piss her off. When I visit him, I'm there to see HIM, not to see you PLAYING YOUR GAMES! And, like I said, I finally grew some balls and told him. So you know what he says?? "What do you mean?" What do I mean?! ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID?!?! He could play his goddamn games all fucking day and not give a shit but when it comes to talking about our relationship, it's like I'm pulling teeth!! And all he asks was "What do you want me to do?" ....Are you fucking joking me? Now I KNOW he must be stupid 'cause I KNOW that I've made my point clear. Please, someone tell me if I haven't by now. Afterwards, he doesn't respond to me for an hour. Yeah, that's going to make me happy with you! So finally I text him, "Fine. Whatever. Play your games or whatever you're doing. I guess we just have to talk on monday since you refuse to talk about it right now." THIS gets him to respond. But, eventually, I find out, that he just DOES NOT GET what I'm telling him. So I FLAT OUT TELL HIM about the gaming thing...AGAIN. And all he says is, "No I don't. I care about you more." Yeah, that's totally convincing. Anyway, I've been talking about this to this guy, Brian, that works at the T-Mobile stand outside our store. So today on my lunch break, we're talking about the past couple of days. For some reason, he tries to take my mind off of what's happening and make me feel better. And for the most part, its working. Also, we're completely flirting with each other and for once, I don't care. Normally, I would feel bad/guilty if I did, but right now I don't give a shit. So my break ends, we exchange cell numbers, and text during work. (Mind you, half of the time I'm standing about 15 feet away from him.) Now my co-worker and Brian like to occasionally going outside and smoke a cigarette behind the Payless back door. So when she tells me this, I'm okay with it, it's happened before. But when she comes back in, she tells me that Brian wants to see me outside. Now, I'm going, "....Wtf?" Either way, I go and meet him outside. But this is the best part, we just talked. Yeah! That's it! We sit on the back steps and he is truely trying to help me. This is the part that confuses me. Why would he want to help me of all people?? We barely know each other and I'm not the most gorgeous, tallest, skinniest girl there is. I'm 5'2, 165 pounds, and I look like but don't look like the Korean I am. Weird, I know. So work ends and Brian and I continue texting when we get home. Still, he's trying to make me feel better and I still can't figure out why. Eventually, I find out that he likes me and tells me that if something happens between Shawn and I that he'll be there for me if I want. So pretty much, he asked me out BEFORE I was single, if I become single. I believe that's the first time that's ever happen to me... Anyway, so I asked him why he liked me. Now I think this is a completely valid question so don't tell me otherwise people. And he says, "It just kinda happened that way..." So, logically, I asked when it did and he says that he's not sure when. Now, for some odd reason, I think that this is really cute. DON'T ASK ME WHY 'CAUSE I STILL DON'T KNOW! But anyway, we continue talking and evetually stop. Then he texts me about 2 hours later...thrashed. I know you like me, buddy, but this is NOT the right way to grab my attention. So now I'm currently talking to him, he's still trashed and apparently wants to come over in his drunken, high stupor. So if he comes over, I don't know what's gonna happen but I have a feeling that's it's not going to be good...So I'm going to end this now because it's getting late and I have a feeling it's going to be a long day tomorrow. Peace peeps! |
if my parents found out...let's just say, bye bye cassandra. why? 'cause shawn is 19 going on 20. i'm only 16. yea...i think you get it. OH! and my dad's all flipping out 'cause my friend brittany goes out with a guy that's in jail right now. BIG WHOOP! (is that how you spell it? whatever...) like yea i understand you don't like it but suck it up dad. practically all my friends are bad asses. so OH! and he keeps insisting that i know. well of COURSE i know. i mean, i'm brittany's BEST FRIEND. what kind of friend ould i be if i couldn't help her? anyway, so i keep telling him that i don't 'cause i'm not gonna rat her out. no way bob. lol... bob. 
anyway, i have to figure out what to get all my close friends for christmas. lord, that's hard. i mean, some of them don't even know what they want themselves! and if they do, it's someone, not something. so yea...not fun. all i want for christmas is shawn('cause he's in san diego right now) and some blank sheet music. and i got both...i don't know...for christmas i'm trying to go see Sweeny Todd. BUT i need someone to buy the tickets for me 'cause it's rated R for pirates! ....no it isn't. lol. i also need to get a job...BAD. i have an application for TJ Maxx but i REALLY don't wanna work there. i mean, TJ? not the coolest place to work...and the pays not great. my friend amanda works there and showed me her paycheck. first of all, she was only being paid like $120. the second, that was for 2 weeks! not cool. K*Mart? eh...it's pretty good expect from the fact that it's in lower pottsgrove area. i live closer to chester county, which is on the opposite side of town. yea...not gonna happen. right now, i'm trying to help my friend cass with a projest of hers. not easy. anyway, i'm gonna go now. ciao guys!